He was the one man she had loved. Maybe the relationship was different, maybe totally fucked up compared to what it had been. But she knew this man. She knew his heart. She had to trust him.He was telling her about those days before their relationship had begun. She was in high school for god's sake. Years ago. What did she used to say when they had known each other for awhile? She would say to anyone who commented on how beautiful she was, and she felt beautiful so she loved the comment, "Just a year ago I was the ugly duckling." She hadn't been hearing compliments recently. Maybe sounding forced from a lover who would say love with equal sincerity. But she had become the ugly duckling again. That's what Jim was saying."You're not ugly, Jane. You'll always be pretty. I want you to find that place you found when Dr. Anderson and you yourself discovered how beautiful you are." You don't find me beautiful anymore?" Right now I find you incredible." Desirable?" She stroked his half hard. At first I loved it. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I did." What's to be ashamed about? It was a fantasy ... and it made things better. So what?" Honey, the thing is, it didn't really stay a fantasy." What do you mean?" It wasn't long before Dad asked me if ... oh man..." Don't worry, Mom. Go on." O.K. He asked me if I had ever thought about you like that ... if that was why I had written what I did." Oh." Tim paused. "Uh ... what did you tell him?" Tim, I don't think I can ... I ... I really don't think I can tell you. I've never told anyone." Well, it's up to you, Mom. But so far you're not scaring me away or anything. I'm totally fine with everything you've told me." I'm afraid there's something I never even told your father that just might make you hate me." You decide, Mom. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I'm fine if you do. And I don't think anything's gonna make me hate you." Tim rolled his eyes exaggeratedly."I must be an idiot, but ... O.K. Here goes. When.
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